I love travelling and spending a significant period of time in another country. There’s something about it that just humbles you and makes you realise exactly what matters and doesn’t matter in life. I always come back to Australia with a renewed sense of urgency and passion to be doing something to make some sort of positive impact on the world. There’s a part of me that gets comfortable at home; that makes me consider other things to do and makes me talk myself into thinking that I’ll enjoy doing something other than development.
I get a little too comfortable but then I come to Indonesia; to Cambodia, to India; and realise that there is nothing else in this world that I want to do to. There’s nothing in this world that will make me want to get up every day to go to work; nothing in this world that will make me as happy or challenged or as pushed than working in this sector. I don’t see myself ever being truly happy with a career unless I’m working with education and women’s rights. I can’t imagine doing anything else because there is nothing else for me. I am capable of doing something; I know I can do something and surprisingly enough, I’m good at it and that’s all that matters.
But there’s a few things I’ve learnt over the last three years; living and working in both Cambodia and Indonesia; things I’ve learnt about life; about the world but most importantly, what I learnt about myself.
It’s okay to make mistakes; it’s not okay to not grow from them.
Sometime’s working overseas hasn’t been good. Sometimes you are 18 and new to the development world and you get so excited about helping that you forget why you came. But then you see it and you feel sick because it’s just wrong and you don’t understand the inequalities in the world. But then you go to Indonesia a few years later; a little more wiser, more aware and you know yourself enough to know where you can make a small impact in a short amount of time. That’s what it’s about; making small impacts over a period of time. No one can change the world, it’s impossible, but I sure can learn from past experiences and make sure that I don’t make the same mistakes again. Small impacts over a period of time- I can do that.
Distance doesn’t make your problems disappear.
Just because you leave your life for a few months doesn’t mean it still won’t be there when you come back. Distance and time away doesn’t magically make every single one of your problems disappear and most times you do more harm than good. Sometimes you have to learn that the hard way; that pushing your problems aside wherever you are, home or away, is never the answer. I know now that the best thing to do is to face issues head on when they arise and work it out from there.
Be patient with yourself when you do come back home.
The flip side to that is that you are a totally different person then to who you were when you left home. We are forever changing but when you leave everything behind, you change in a different way. But friends and family don’t see this or feel this change in you and so it is hard to re-adjust back to what your old life was when sometimes you don’t relate to aspects of it anymore. Sometimes you grasp onto things, sometimes you let things go and most times, its actually a struggle to combine your old life to who you feel you are now and what you want. The only thing I’ve learnt is to know myself, be patient with myself and stay true to myself and know that things will fall into place.
Time is the shortest and longest thing we have.
We always say we are running out of time or we didn’t have time to do this or that, but when you think about it, time is the longest thing we do have. It’s how we use our time that determines its quality. There is no such thing as having no time to do the things that you want to do; or no time to see people. You make time for the things you care about and the people you love even if that means prioritising over something else. Don’t get too caught up in the world of work and school to forget to make time for the people who are there for you and the things you enjoy to do. It doesn’t mean anything if you are too focused on things to miss out on experiencing your life or that of your family and friends. We are consumed by time and constraints but time is also consumed and decided by us. Know this and use time wisely; for its the shortest and longest thing we have.
Learn what is important and know that life is a never-ending learning experience.
There are things that matter; there are things that don’t.
Learn what’s important in life and what isn’t. Learn what relationships are good for you and what ones aren’t. Learn what really makes you get up in the morning and learn what makes you happy and then do it every day. Life isn’t about the people who weren’t there, about the mistakes we made or the chances we didn’t take. The sun rises every day no matter how shit the day was before and guess what, you will to. Life is about learning things so we can continue growing, changing and evolving as we age. Life is about figuring out what matters and what doesn’t matter and focusing on the things that are important. Life is about living and learning and most importantly, loving; that’s whats important.
There’s no place like home and the people that are there.
There’s no place like home because it is home. There is no place like coming back to a place where there is only love, happiness and joy. Where things are easy because you have support around you, where you have friends and where you have your life. Travelling is incredible and if it was free, you probably wouldn’t see me. But I would always find my way back home because there is nothing like home and the feelings it brings me.
Life is what you make it.
*cue Hannah Montana song* No one lives life waiting for it to come knocking. Opportunities, people and experiences don’t come to you if you don’t reach out first. Offer yourself to the world and see what it offers back. Half the things that have most shaped my life have been from me taking action and chasing experiences in whatever form they come. There’s no point in talking about things but never actually doing them. So go out there, take a chance and do it because what have you got to lose?
People are so scared of being hurt and showing vulnerability but I think it should be embraced.
People these days are so scared to open up; to show emotion and vulnerability. We have been taught to be strong; to always be strong and that if we aren’t strong, it means we are showing weakness. Weakness that could potentially cause us to hurt so we build up these walls and always tell people “we’re fine” and don’t actually tell the other what we are actually feeling. We try to be strong even if that means secluding ourselves and shutting ourselves off from opportunities because we are scared of getting hurt. Life is scary, opportunities are scary and yes, people are going to hurt you. But guess what, you’ll hurt people too because it’s something we all can’t control and it’s a part of life.
And really, if we stripped back the stigma that we have to be strong all the time, that we have to have our shit together and that certain things should be kept to ourselves and not talked about, I think that we would all understand each other better. We could see that we aren’t that different; our problems are similar, we both feel things that can hurt us or make us happy, we are all scared of something and we are all nervous of taking risks; after all, we are all human. But I think if we opened ourselves up to each other we could also be a little more kind to each other, a little more understanding and a little less judgemental. Vulnerability and feeling hurt makes us all human – we shouldn’t shy away from that.
Be kind.
If I died tomorrow, how would people describe me and what would they say? What legacy would I leave behind?
And as boring as this may sound to some people, I think I would like to be known as kind. I think kindness is a simple concept that is rare to see; I know I often have to think if people’s kindness towards me is coming from a genuine place or not. And I hope that people see the genuine in my kindness. And sure, maybe its more fun to be known as the person who can hold her liquor, or to be known for the girl that is always having a good time, but I don’t think being genuinely kind is boring. I think kindness is truth, honesty and communication in all of its forms.
Kindness has many levels. My mum once told me something that has stuck with me for years; “Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.” It’s as I get older that I understand more how sometimes kindness can come off as something that isn’t kind. Sometimes being kind means telling it like it is. Sometimes being kind is to say something that hurts you to say it. Sometimes being kind is saying things people don’t want to hear and but you do because you are being kind. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
I also think kindness goes a long way; I often remember people by their kindness and how nice they were to me and I hope they remember me for the same. And I guess the world has enough hate and judgement as it is, there’s no need to add to it.
There’s nothing wrong with doing you.
There’s nothing wrong with taking time to do you. Whether that’s choosing to stay single, cutting down on alcohol, taking up a gym class when you know all your friends would think thats funny; there’s no problem with that.
I always say that I have no problem with anyone’s decisions as long as they aren’t hurting themselves or others. There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing you and doing what you have to do FOR you because you know that is whats best. Because at the end of the day, our bodies are the only constant thing we will have throughout our lives; we as a person are the one constant thing. So why not take the time to get to know yourself; find out what you like, what you don’t; what you want and what you don’t want. Make friends with yourself and love yourself and do this by being by yourself to see who you are. Life is too short to not be doing you, to not being putting your health and happiness first and to not be happy with yourself. At the end of the day, you are the only person with the power to change your life; so start by just doing you and see what you learn.
…………………………………………………………………..
But hey, what do I really know right? I’m only 21 and I haven’t even experienced life or what the world has to offer so who am I to tell you what I’ve learnt? But that’s okay, as I said, life is a learning experience and I can’t wait to learn more and embrace everything it has to offer. And maybe in 1, 2 or even five years from now I might not agree with what I wrote above but that’s okay. I can’t wait to grow, learn and form more of my own ideas about the world!